I had the delightful experience this past weekend of dining with Liz Strauss and Jessica Duquette. In person meetings like this are so exciting to me as I get to really know the wonderful people I have met online. We chatted about everything – growth, business, blogging, and the blogosphere including how to keep yourself from becoming a big time blogger.Liz whacked me upside the head with one statement. Here’s the story of how this queen of words coached the coach:

There used to be a time when I wanted to just ‘be rid’ of things that I didn’t like about myself. If I could just get rid of that part of me, I reasoned, I would be able to become an unstoppable force in my life.

Many people I know feel the same way – if they could just get rid of the ‘tornado‘ in their way, everything would be fine.

• If I could just get rid of my procrastination, then I would feel motivated
• If I could just overcome this feeling of not being enough, then I would be able to move my business forward
• If I could just clear out this emotional baggage, then I would be able to be more consistent with my blogging

Toiling Over How To Write a Great Blog

The problem with this thinking is that though we hate to admit it, that tornado is really a part of who we are. And we cannot get rid of it any easier than we can suddenly decide to cut off a limb.

The key here is being willing to step back and even backtrack a little bit. An obstacle is only an obstacle if you 1-believe it is an obstacle and 2-allow it to stop you. Of course, if the tornado is in your face, it’s pretty darn easy to do just that.

There is also the illusion that the obstacle is even an obstacle in the first place. Usually, it’s an opportunity – an invitation to grow. But again, when the tornado is in your face, it’s easy to ask yourself, “Why can’t I go forward?”.

Here’s the kicker – I have NEVER overcome anything by making it ‘go away’. In fact, every problem, every dark shadow, every moment of writer’s block, and every day of terrible traffic and no comments are still here – they are all with me, and they aren’t going anywhere. It’s not that I have hung onto them – it’s that I have been able to perceive my obstacles differently.

By asking better questions, obstacles lose their grip on us. We move back. We perceive things differently. When we back up, we can see that the tornado was really only a swirl in a marble – one that can be easily rolled off to the side as we are freed to choose and perceive differently.

I have found a common thread among bloggers – that once they are finally somewhat established, it’s even harder to bring their blog to the next level than they had anticipated. Some almost gave up. Some have found a way (better than I have ). Some, myself included, slowly grow, hoping that taking the Tortoise approach to winning the race will indeed get us to the finish line. The perceived obstacles to blogging stardom do indeed seem large.

I was chatting with Liz about my mysterious dip in traffic since the holidays – that things haven’t recovered in January the way I had hoped, and I was a little stumped about the whole thing. In one fell swoop, Liz took my blogging growth “obstacle” and completely reframed it:

“The hidden assumption,” she said, “is that you have lost something of value. Perhaps you haven’t.”

Suddenly, I was able to look at everything differently. And silly me, only then was I able to think that, hhmmmmm… “Perhaps my traffic is down because my subscribers are at an all time high.”

Duh.

So how do we become an unstoppable force in business, blogging, and in life?

By simply continuing to move forward no matter what *seems* to get in our way. Including ourselves.