Oh good grief, I was watching an infomercial in the middle of the night. I am not the only one who apparently has eyebrows that have defected down to my chin. Someone invented a much needed product called Tweeze (pronounced tweez-ee) Tweezers. Check out their product description, “This battery-powered grooming aid seems to attract hair like a magnet, and makes it easy to tweeze in any direction. Fast and efficient, it works so well that it even removes those single, elusive hairs that pop up on chins. Easy to clean, the tweezer system is safe for use anywhere on the body (except eyebrows).”

It works on all hairs “except eyebrows.” Personally I prefer to call these runaways eyebrows. Consider the alternative; what else should we call them – woman whiskers? I don’t think so. One thing is certain; at least I’m not the only freak of nature!

I Thought My Eyebrows Must Be Boycotting My Body

They keep running away. They’re not exceptionally intelligent though; I keep finding them in the same place – you’d think they’d figure out that I know where to find them!

They are tenacious little tresses. I discovered one just the other day attempting to make a mass exodus off my face. It made it as far south as my upper lip before it stopped. I guess it forgot that it was trying to break free and just decided to set a spell. We’ve all had bouts of CRS when we can’t remember squat. (Actually ‘squat’ means nothing so to say can’t remember nothing is a double negative and what we actually mean is that we can’t remember anything, not nothing, but I digress). Have you ever walked into another room then forgotten what you were going to do, so you just sat down to do something else? Of course you have. Apparently that’s what said eyebrow decided to do. That little whippersnapper implanted itself right above my beautiful smile.

It Possesses Chameleon Traits

It is a sneaky dickens too. On the way down my face it changed from a strawberry blonde color to almost white. There it sat, lying in wait; growing longer and longer. I didn’t notice it until I did a mirror check to see if all the oregano was gone from my teeth. The sunlight hit it just right and voila – there it was!

A big ol’ long honkin’ white eyebrow took up residence on my upper lip. Isn’t that attractive? It must have popped out over night because there is no way I could have missed that daddy long legs growing from my face! I didn’t even need tweezers to extract that little defector. I just grabbed on and gave a firm but gentle tug.

It doesn’t stop there. About once a month I find yet another eyebrow on the tip of my chin! No wonder the neighborhood children ask me about my broom. The chin eyebrow is easier to find because the element of surprise is gone. About every 28 days, I lie in wait for that one. Bingo! Bango! You’re outta here! But what boggles my mind about that particular deserter is it always lands in the exact same place. It’s almost as if it takes on the form of a small ball of yarn inside my chin. It peeks its little head out, and if the coast is clear, pops out for a breath of fresh air. I yank that sucker out as it bids me adieu with the exact same words every month “See ya later Laurie, same time, same place!”

As If My Face-Invaders Aren’t Enough, I Find Others That Are AWOL

They get tired and need to take refuge in my neck, in the mole on my arm and in other places in-between on down to my toes. Women are blessed with this phenomenon more than our male counterparts, although I’m most certain the shifting eyebrows are equal opportunity offenders. Just take a look at some of the wooly mammoths at the beach and you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. Just why would one need hair on his back or in his ears anyway?

Alas, at this point in my life, I’ve learned to accept my not-so-imaginary friends. We have lunch together, we laugh, we cry, we pray together. I guess it’s not so bad after all. Now where did I put that URL for the Tweeze Tweezers?

About Laurie Ayers

Laurie Ayers lives in her ginormous mansion on the top of West Michigan, right by the summit, with her two teens, a basset hound and her future husband, whom she hasn’t met yet, and her computer. While she likes to say she is independently wealthy and pays for everything with her good looks, she sometimes needs to use currency, which she earns from her direct sales business as a Superstar Director with Scentsy. Find her at www.ThrivingCandleBusiness.com